Helping Men Understand The Patriarchy

As a sensitive male and feminist, I understand that women have a harder time in day-to-day life. Unlike most men, I understand the complexities and consequences of living in patriarchal society. 

  It hurts my heart deeply that more men aren't aware of the oppression women experience. So, I have taken it upon myself to share a few methods I use daily to help my sisters have an easier time in this ugly, testosterone-filled world of whistling construction workers, lower wages, and painful pointy shoes with high heels that were designed by some insensitive male whose goal was not a woman's comfort but to make her ass more sexually enticing.

 I will start with a phrase I like to say when I see one my sisters walking down the street. I make a point to look them directly in the eye, (avoid looking at their breasts or take a quick look when they are window shopping), and say, “Smile, sweetheart. It ain't that bad." This communicates that you know they are not smiling due to the heavy burden of male oppression that is weighing down on them. I like to throw in "sweetheart" for it is the female equivalent to "dude" as in, "Dude, how 'bout them Cubbies." However women don't like or understand sports, so that will be the last time I bring them up.

  Another phrase of encouragement women want and frankly need to hear is, "You'd make a great wife." Women forget this is a possibility. They are so busy sadly attempting to keep up with men and having careers as lawyers and doctors that they forget that they can, and hopefully someday will indeed be a great wife/mother. Women don’t embrace these qualities enough. Frankly, I wish I could have babies.  I'd love to sit around the goddamned house all day eating ice cream and watching TV while junior naps away the hours. 

Men, if you are currently in a relationship, please go up to the woman you love, get right in her face, and loudly exclaim, "TAMPON!" This lets them know you are not afraid of their womanly things, that you embrace their cycles, bloody undies, and erratic moods of insanity. Also, never ever say, "What the shit! You on the rag, bitch!" In fact, don't ever mention anything about menstruation when they are actually on the rag. Ignore them. Go golfing, plan weekend fishing trips, do whatever you can but avoid them at all costs. In the Old Testament women would have to leave the village for five days when their "Tee-tee was crying", but we have evolved. We are a more sensitive culture now, so we men must leave or at least zone out with television, alcohol, and pills.

A lot of men are unaware of how competitive women actually are. Women enjoy a good mental fight or challenge.  So I have found it useful to say things like this to my girlfriends. “Wow, your sister sure is thin. I wouldn't mind throwing my stuff up that!" This, in a subtle way, encourages her to take care of her body and reminds her you are a sexually active man and may not be ready to settle on her. Believe me, in the long run, she'll thank you.

 Other phrases I have found encouraging and supportive are: “If you were a few pounds lighter I'd go out with you.” “No one likes a bitch.” And my personal favorite, “I don't care we're doing it.”

 Men, it is hard to fully become aware of the struggle women experience. Hopefully, these tips will help guide you to becoming a more sensitive, caring male. Good luck and fight the oppression!!